Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
