Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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