I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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