so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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