I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
