Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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