I molested 6 butterflies tonight
It's just like the Real World with babies
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
