Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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