I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
