he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
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