I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
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