If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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