I wanna bring you to show and tell
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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