Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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