accomplished twins. life is a go
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
