I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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