i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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