So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
