He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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