It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
being pregnant is like rehab
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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