VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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