I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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