I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
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you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
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My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize