i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize