Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
