is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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