I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
