I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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