right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
