Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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