don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
