In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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