Well douche your snatch and let's go!
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
