Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
