i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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