nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Randomize
