Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
