if i can run in heels then i can drive
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Send help, water and tortillas.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Couch. On fire.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
