Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
