one word: firstdatebathroomanal
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
