Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
No stitches, just platelets and will power
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
