barbara walters just said penis...
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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