Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize