god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Randomize
