I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Still dying that you shit outside
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize