My hair reeks of homosexuality.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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