i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
