I like my sex mixed with concussions.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Randomize
