on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
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