He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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