I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
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