Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
