remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
jump out the window naked night went bad
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
