this beer tastes like vomit already
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
