Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
