I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
