New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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