I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
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