i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize