your room smells of hookers.
And success
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
