your thong is hanging out like whoa
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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