He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
